When this slogan, affirmation, demand, chant first came out in the wake of the Michael Brown murder i was averse to it. I thought but to whom are we saying this? Why do we need to tell them black lives matter…i felt as though by stating this we were asking for them to see us as human and in many ways i believe it does not matter what they believe…it does not matter to me what you think about me…what matters to me is how we feel about ourselves. I still feel this way but as i see more brutality in the past and present amongst ourselves against our selves i have found myself pondering that perhaps less to them and more to ourselves we indeed do need to be reminded that Black Lives Matter. I spent part of my year in Southern Africa and while a remarkably reinvigorating trip…i found black lives being taken by fellow Africans in everything from xenophobic attacks on so called African ‘foreigners’ by those who were black like them, to revisiting stories of the killing of miners demanding a fair wage by police officers with skins of the same shade. In America the history of brutality is prime and present with daily scenes of brutality against black bodies and in some places black lives killing other black lives. It is depressing and heartbreaking. I recently watched the Black Panther film which prompted this writing. Though powerful in parts, the film left me wounded and exhausted. Tired of scenes that refuse to stop being perpetuated. Black folks protesting, black folks being stripped naked, black folks speaking of struggle. It left me wondering what is this all for…why are we all here and to whom really does black lives matter. How far and how deep can this current movement really go. Will it fall victim to government interference and co-intelpro like the Panther movement? Or be laid bare by the typical infighting that ends up destroying such movements in our community? Will any and all strong voices continue to be silenced like those of Lumumba and Chairman Hampton, Garvey, King and Malcolm for fear of the rise of a ‘black messiah’? Why are we not given the peace to become all that we are able to be? Why is it so important to keep us in a space and place of poverty and oppression?. …will we, through our own inability to fight our demons never be able to rise above the legacies of brutality now embedded in our DNA? This weighs heavy on my spirit because it feels like there is no time to contemplate for us. So busy are we trying to survive this constant attack….our minds are splitting our souls are barren and more and more of us are struggling to keep the threads of our spirit together. We are in desperate need for a place and space in time where our peace of mind and hearts are priority. Where our bodies simply by virtue of their hue are not constantly under attack. Where we can exist in a way that allows us to simply be…where we can re-engage, rediscover or discover our own humanity without being glared upon and scrutinised by others. I long for a kind of peace for African humanity away from the maddening crowd away from the insanity of this matrix. I long for an emptying of African lands of those who seek to exploit her and her people. I long for a riddance of poverty and the concept of struggle. Surrounded, immersed, overwhelmed even, by black bodies, minds and spirits who are free!!!!
As Always …yours in Love
A traveling black chick
This was another rambling of thoughts written a while ago after i saw a screening of the powerful Black Panther documentary “Black Panther: Vanguard of the Revolution” . It truly left me shredded. I took a moment to post this cause I wrote it to free my spirit and thought it was not so good at the time. However having re-read it by accident and in light of Laquan McDonald’s murder and the ensuing cover up…..just tired.